All posts by queenmartybee

I recently quit my full time job to be the sole caregiver for my husband, Doug, who suffers from Alzheimer’s disease. We have two dogs, Max and Molly.

Christmas Trees 2

So one year in particular, we worked especially hard at decorating the tree. Lorie was middle school (?) age or so, Brian would have been 4 or 5. Anyway, we spent ALL day Sunday decorating the tree. This was a live, cut tree in a tree stand. ****Note – what I stated in Christmas Tress 1 is correct. Doug did refuse to pay for live, cut trees. But this was only After Lorie left home. In our house, if Lorie wanted it, it happened!**** by the time we went to bed that night, this tree could have been featured on the Cover of Martha Stewart Living! Seriously! It was perfect from all sides! The next day, I woke up, started down the hallway; could see Lorie at the kitchen table, eating cereal. Very calm. Monday morning. I walked into the den to see if she had turned the Tree lights on….IT IS LYING IN THE FLOOR!!! My Beautiful, Martha Stewart Tree, is on it’s side – In The FLOOR!!! I looked at Lorie and started screaming, “Did you see the Tree had fallen to the floor?” She looked up, very nonchalant, and said, “Yeah” (shoulder shrug). “Why didn’t you Say anything, why didn’t you come Get me? All those hours we spent on this tree! Oh My God! DOUGGG!!!!” I was standing in the kitchen with Lorie. I remember there was a knife on the table. I picked it up and RAN down the hall, jumped on top of Doug, (who was waking up) and went through my tirade again. He calmed me down, (which has Always been his job!) took the knife, and proceeded to pick the Tree up off the floor. He found a length of ski rope, tired it to the tree and nailed it to the floor! Of course, the stand had been too small to hold the Tree, but hey! We got it on sale! Stay tuned

Passwords – Really?

I am trying sooo hard to keep up with technology! Seriously. At my age, I shouldn’t have to contend with anything more complicated than the T.V. remote. I have tried my best; I work with 20 year olds. That helps. When I had been at my job for one year, I was facing my annual review and one of the questions asked was,”What one thing have you accomplished this year that you are proudest of?” My answer? “I learned to copy and paste”!  I had a Kindle Fire that I thought was the greatest thing since sliced bread! So many books – so little time! Then I upgraded to the iPad Mini. Oh, my God! Probably the most wonderful invention, Ever!  I am addicted to Facebook, play a few games, obviously, have a Blog.  But the fly in the ointment is and has always been – Passwords.  Why are these things necessary? Please explain this to me. Computers are hacked, ALL the time, even though we constantly change our passwords! I saw the following on, (where else?) Facebook, after asking you to change your password.  “Sorry, your password must contain a capital letter, two numbers, a symbol, an inspiring message, a spell, a gang sign, a hieroglyphic and the blood of a virgin.” Sound familiar? But my main gripe is the “Security Question” that I am always asked and I can NEVER remember! Father’s first name? Mother’s maiden name? Name of first pet? Name of first grade teacher? Name of favorite town?  Did I answer these questions honestly – or was I in a mood that day and just wrote random answers? DId I give the name of my first pet or my Favorite pet? Did I give my Mother’s maiden name or her first name?  I recently made an executive decision. Regardless of what Steve Jobs or his successor or the “experts” warn – I am using the same word as the answer to EVERY security qustion I am asked!  Favorite pet? Blackbird. Father’s first name? Blackbird . Name of favorite town? Blackbird. What can they hack from me, anyway? I have all my “stuff ” saved on an external hard drive (told you I was a Techie-LOL). I HAVE to make my life easier, any way I can! Stay tuned.


imageSo, to recap; we lost our beloved Shih Tzu, Trixie, that we had for 17 years. This happened on Thursday night, December 27. Friday morning, I had to somehow go to work and be productive (?) That next Monday, I brought home the sweetest, cutest puppy I have Ever seen! We named her, Little Lady. She got sick Tuesday night, Wednesday was New Years Day, so when we took her to the vet on Thursday, that deadly bitch, Parvo, had claimed her, and the vet put her to sleep. Again, one week later, I had to go to work on Friday, after losing a dog on Thursday night! Can you say “Groundhog Day”?  I was a mess! While I was trying to get through the day, Doug went back to the place where I had bought the puppy to tell her what happened. While he was there, a lady came in with 2 dogs whose human mother had died. She was trying to find another home for them. Well, there stands Doug! While I’m at work, just trying to make it through the day, he is bringing, not one, but two Dogs home! I came in that afternoon to utter chaos! Both dogs were Shih Tzus, both older, both Male. We’ve never had a male dog! The 4 yr old was hyper! The 2 yr old was quieter. I couldn’t deal, so I went to my bedroom and shut the door on the whole mess! The next day, we decided to keep the 2 yr old quieter dog. Doug the other one to the shelter.  MAX is black with one little white patch on his chest! He has a sweet disposition, but is skittish and easily frightened. He LOVES Doug! Follows him, every step he takes! He is a loving dog, that I believe, once he settles in and gets comfortable in the house will make a wonderful pet! Having said that – he’s a Boy! Lifts his leg about every few feet! Obviously, not house trained. Something we will address soon!  Have made arrangements next week to have him microchipped, “fixed” and brought up to date on his shots.  Stay tuned.


Raising my kids, we have had most every kind of pet at one time or another. We’ve had various dogs, a cat, a bird, hamsters, fish, even  bunnies. Once the kids were grown, we were able to choose  what, if any type of pet we wanted.  What I will never understand are people who mistreat or neglect animals. Of Any kind!  A couple who lived across the street from us, got 2 Dalmations when their son was a teenager. They built a pen in the backyard, threw in a doghouse, and the rest is history.  Soon enough, the son lost interest, learned to drive, then  left home. The dogs remained in the pen. I Never saw anyone play with them or take them for a walk. Ever! The couple went out each day to feed them, but until first one dog, and then the other, died,  I never saw any human interaction with them!  By the same notion, breeders, groomers, who cut corners and take puppies to sell that are sick are the scum of the earth!  I recently lost my new puppy to Parvo – a Horrible, contagious disease that affects more puppies than we know! My baby seemed fine.  Bought her, brought her home,  the second night she was very sick!  Vomited all night – when you only weigh 1-2 pounds, it doesn’t take long to be life threatening. On day 4 we took her to the vet (day 3 was New Year’s Day) and he had to put her down.  I can’t swear the person we bought her from knew she was sick,  but as  someone who fell madly in love with this little creature,  watching her being so sick was as cruel to me as it was to her!  I hope there is a special place in Hell for people who neglect / abuse animals. (And children, of course).

Little Lady

Our beloved Trixie passed away last week.  December 27, 2013 to be exact.  Normally, I would never considered getting another dog so soon.  Our hearts were broken, even though we  had  Trixie for so many years. However, this has NOT been a normal year and after talking to a couple of close friends who were aware of our situation, I decided to get another dog, ASAP.  I consulted Facebook friends, newspaper ads, – the works.  Ended up with the sweetest pup I have Ever seen, bar none! She is a mix of Shih Tzu and Yorkshire Terrier called a “Shorkie”. Regardless, she is tiny and precious!  I “eased” her into the house and held my breathe; praying Doug would not reject her outright.  He had a lukewarm response, but let her stay. I told him that he could name her. After a couple of days of playing with her and staying up nights with her,  they are starting to bond.  We still cry for Trixie, but I think she would approve of my choice and be happy that her Dad was “keeping busy” during his grieving process. He decided to name her Lady. He said the very first dog he had and loved was named Lady and he wants his very Last dog to be named the same! Stay tuned.


It may be lack of sleep or my selective memory, but in my list of main characters, I forgot to list my mother, Sarah! Sorry, Mom! Sarah turns 89 yrs old Today. She lives in a nursing home and even though she has dementia, she still gives ’em hell! I have many Sarah stories, so I want her to be familiar to you. Happy Birthday, Sarie! Love you!

Thanksgiving, part 2

I am thankful for my family and my friends. Especially the last few years, you have shown your love and support to me and I love you for it! But I find myself being thankful for little things. I am thankful for clean, fresh, running water. I am thankful for heat in the winter and air conditioning in the summer. I am thankful for enough food to eat. I am thankful for dishwashers. I am thankful for wi-fi. Wait, I think I’m getting off track. Well, maybe not. Stay tuned.

Thanksgiving 2013

This weekend is all about giving thanks for our blessings. I think. I thought it started with pilgrims and Indians and food. Anyway, it has evolved into being thankful for family, friends…oh, and shopping! We must not forget shopping! I must tell you, there is not enough money, in this World, to tempt me into Black Friday activity! Yes, I’m old and there is a real possibility that in the rush of a crowd, I could fall and break a hip; but more than that is the Parking! Parking was invented by the Devil! Since I have a handicap sticker on my vehicle, you would think that parking would not be a problem! Ha! Forget about it! Everybody has a handicap sticker! This time of year, I always end up parking in little Egypt. By the time I get into a store, I’m too tired to shop! Agree? Stay tuned.

Neighbors 2

When Doug & I had this house built, in 1979, this section of the subdivision had just opened up. There was nothing behind us but wide open land. Needless to say, that only lasted a couple of years. As the 80’s progressed, so did house building. We decided to plant pine trees across our back property line, thus blocking the view of whatever neighbors we had in the future. We had 11 white pine trees planted. We watered & fertilized and watched as they grew into tall, beautiful trees! Twenty years later, sometimes, the utility company, B.G.M.U., would come & “top” the trees to keep them out of the power lines. One morning, I’m in the bathroom, brushing my teeth, when I hear the sound of the saws. Okay. But they sound very close & “topping” doesn’t usually take this much time. I opened the shade and looked out the window. I thought I would faint! Four of my beautiful pine trees looked like very tall pencils!! There was not a limb on them! This huge bucket truck is parked in the neighbor’s yard behind me. Four men in hard hats are now working on my fifth tree and the grinding noise is unbelievable! I drop my toothbrush, and in only my thin housecoat, go flying out of the house, screaming, “STOP! STOP! STOP!” The noise, stopped, the neighbors, who were sitting on their deck, watching the show, watched as I threw myself against the closest man in a hardhat. “What are you doing to MY TREES?” He said, “We just came to top them, but that lady (pointing to the woman sitting in her robe on the deck, along with her husband) told me to go on & cut ’em down”. I then launched myself up on the deck of this woman (whom I had never met before) and screamed, “What in the Hell would make you DO such a thing?” “Well, I thought they were my trees.” “Did it Never cross your mind to check that out? You’d better go in and get some clothes on, cause before long, lots of people will be here to see you.” The men said there was no way to save the 5 trees they had cut. My lawyer and a rep from BGMU came to access the situation. We settled for a small sum, and let the hard hats remove the rest of the trees. Then everyday, until random brush grew up in the place where my beautiful trees were, I stood at my window, shades up, all lights on, and put my naked chest against the window, for my neighbors sake! THAT’LL teach ’em!


My Mother was the woman I looked up to all my life. Tall, thin, pretty, she was a kind, Christian woman, who taught me manners, etiquette, how to respect others. I also learned from her how to show my independence and respect myself first. Three years ago, she had a series of small strokes. After she was released from the hospital, she was moved into Rosewood nursing home. She had some memory loss that would come and go. As with dementia, it eventually gets worse, but at first she was only confused. I would visit her nearly everyday, but when it was time to leave her, I would never say goodbye. I did that one time, not thinking, and her nurse said she cried for hours! From then on, I would tell her that I would be “right back”. Since she couldn’t see me leave, within a short amount of time, she would forget I had even been there. I never knew, when I visited, how she was, mentally. She could never call my name, but she always knew my face! Sometimes, we could have a conversation; a lot of times, I just followed her lead. She asked me one time “Do you live here too?”. I said that yes, I had a room down the hall. Then she began to talk about the dining hall and a couple of the nurses. Very pleasant. Sometimes, she would sit and listen to me talk, but not say much. I just never knew what to expect. Usually, I would stop by to see her on my way home from work. That was quieter than weekend visits. But one Saturday morning, after a busy week, I got up, threw on a pair of jeans, kind of ran a brush through my hair & headed to Rosewood to visit. I sat with Sarah and talked to her. She was very quiet. Finally, she looked up at me and said, “Who are you?.” I told her my name and she said – “Oh, – you look like One of US”! I never went to visit again without full makeup, hair styled!! Stay tuned.