It is almost a New Year. Lord, help me! This morning, Doug coerced me and the dogs into the car around 10:00 a.m. We started out on our “day trip”, as usual. I can usually go anywhere from 20 – 45 minutes in the car (destination unknown), and he is calm. Today he is directing me as I drive. Turn here, turn there. He directs me to get on the Interstate to Louisville. I ask him, where are we going? To Louisville, he says. (at least 2 hours away) What? Why are we going to Louisville? Have you ever been to one of those? (He says). One of those what? One of those chicken fights. Uh, no. Why? Is that why we are going to Louisville? Yeah, he says. Uh, no. I am not driving to Louisville for a chicken fight! Ok, he says. Turn off at the next exit!

Today, still. I asked him at 3:30, is there anyplace else you want to go? No, he says. Six o’clock, he’s pacing. (Love Sundowner’s). “We have to go!”. Go, where? “We have to go check on Johnny, and Fred, and Jimmy”. Doug, I am not driving in the cold and the dark! I don’t know who Johnny, Fred, and Jimmy are, but I pray they will be okay, because I am not driving tonight. Major fit! “We have to go help them”! Yeah, no. This pacing went on until after 10:00. He basically has 2 speeds. I either medicate him to the point he is asleep by 6:30, or I back off and he paces and mutters until exhaustion takes him at 10:00. – 10:30. Either way, we both stay – exhausted!

Thursday Morning – we’ve been up for about an hour. Him – “What’s wrong? You’re not talking.” Me – (out loud) “Nothing. I haven’t woken up yet.” Me – (in my mind) Really? And who, exactly, would I talk to? Myself? The dogs? YOU? And what would we talk about? Do you realize. That question you just asked me? That’s the most complete sentence you have put together in over 2 weeks. I haven’t woken up yet because I have been awake since 3 a.m. worrying about bills, money in general, Christmas is next week, my phone calls are not being returned. YOU! Always, worrying about YOU! Yeah, not very talkative.