Pity Party

So, I’ve started seeing a therapist. My good, sweet, loyal friend, Judy, did extensive research to find someone whom I would be very comfortable with. And she did an excellent job. Amanda is a very empathic, caring girl (she’s half my age). Seems to know her stuff. Although, I don’t know what her stuff is, exactly. I’m not sure what our purpose is. I basically, wanted a safe place to go to just talk, about me. Maybe to vent, or muse, or cry, or whatever the day called for.  At first, I thought that was the agenda. I’m sure that Amanda is highly qualified (Judy would never accept less, on my behalf), and I know her patients (clients?) vary in ages and problems. First visit, she asked me what I wanted from our sessions. Since then, we seem to meander. Which is fine. I think. I, personally, don’t have an agenda. My “problems”, are ongoing, with no solution. I assume the only thing she might want to work on with me, is how I respond to my ongoing problems. At any rate, today, she asked me several “leading” questions – such as, what am I afraid of?  What are my options? Etc. During some of the questioning, as I’m trying to articulate my answers, I began to cry. I won’t lie. It’s been a rough week. She let me cry for a while and then she said, “I’m going to let you feel sorry for yourself, today. But we are not going to do this again.” ?????  What?  Okay.  Where else do I get to feel free enough to cry – if not here? I can’t cry at home, or work or in my car. I am Never alone. What is the alternative, exactly?  There are no solutions, so….?    I don’t know. I see her every Tuesday, so it will be interesting to see what next week brings.  But, apparently, there’s no crying in therapy!   Who knew?       Stay tuned.

 

One thought on “Pity Party”

  1. I know you are not looking for an English teacher’s response but “your voice” comes through in your writing. I can just hear you through your writing! Hopes for a good session on Tues.

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