Don’t Touch Me!

I’m one of these people who have delayed reactions to comments made or situations where I should Do something. Hours later, the correct response or answer will come to me – “I should have said; I should have done.”  Although this quirk often aggreviates me, Most of the time, it actually saves me from Trouble.  Even though my husband of 45 years knows this about me, he is never quite sure what my reaction will be at any given moment.  Case in point – our next door neighbors were elderly ( yes, this was many years ago ). One day, driving home from work, I turned onto our street to see Mrs. Mathis, sitting in her car – in the Middle of the Street! Fearing that she was sick, I pulled up behind her and got out of my car. I asked if she was alright and if I could help her. She said her car had just stopped in the middle of the street, but her husband was calling for help. As we were talking, Doug’s car came up the street and pulled up behind us. He threw his car into Park and Ran up to me, yelling,   Marty, please, don’t hurt her!”  What?

We have lived and raised our children on this same street since 1979.  Our kids played and went to school with all the kids on this street.  We are not new here! And just for the record, I don’t hit people!

One day, Doug and I are walking in the neighborhood. I’m guessing I was 45 years old or so.  We are walking passed a neighbor’s house and she is at her mailbox. As we walk past and say hello, she looks at me and exclaims, “Oh my God! When are you Due?” And she has Both hands on my belly, rubbing away! I looked at Doug who had gone absolutely white in the face! (He told me later, all he could think about was me slugging her and the lawsuit that would ensue!) After I finally got my breath back, I shoved her hands off me and said, “I’m not pregnant, I’m just FAT!”

That lady was about my age.  She was a teacher.  About six months later, Doug ran into her at a convention.  Because he remembered how she had embarrassed me, and because he was grateful that I hadn’t Hit her, in their conversation, he asked her about retiring.  She said that she had many years to go before she retired. He replied, “Oh, sorry! You looked like you were about retirement age!” SNAP!            Did I tell you I Love this guy!   Stay tuned.

One thought on “Don’t Touch Me!”

  1. I want that man on my side – along with his lovely wife who thank goodness does not hit. I don’t do jail visits well!

    Sent from my iPad Judy Whitson

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