McDonald’s

Patience has never been a virtue of mine.  One Sunday morning, I had left Doug asleep in the bed, dropped off the girls at Sunday School and decided I would pick up breakfast at McDonald’s for Doug and I. It was maybe 9:00 in the morning. I pulled into the local McDonald’s. There was one car in the parking lot. No one in the drive thru. I proceeded to place my order, two scrambled egg breakfasts to go. She tells me my total, and asks me to pull around. I pull up to the window to pay. She says it will be a couple of minutes, and could I please pull forward and park? They would bring my order, “right out”.  (Does any of this sound familiar to you? And this was mid, late ’70’s!)  So I’m playing nice and I pull up and park my car.  I past the window where an older couple sat eating. The only customers in the restaurant.

And so, I sat.  And waited. Not a single car came through the drive thru.  Hell, not a single car came into the parking lot. I waited for ten minutes! Doesn’t sound like a long time, unless you are just sitting in a car.  Waiting.  Okay. I’ve had Enough! I put the car in reverse and back up to the window where I had paid the girl.  “Where is my order?” I asked.  “Oh, I’m so sorry, blah, blah, whatever.”  Okay, she hands my order through the window. Now I am Going to have the last word! I am Going to show her just how mad I am! She’ll be sorry!

I made up my mind to just flat, squeal tires out of there! I put the transmission in Drive and all the while giving the girl my most disgusted face, I mashed my foot down as hard as I could on the gas metal!  I squealed tires alright! Here’s the problem – I had forgotten to turn my steering wheel back in the correct position. So, instead of tearing out off the parking lot, my wheels were turned TOWARDS the building!! My car went up and over the wrought iron fencing by the side door of McDonald’s , coming to rest One Inch from the plate glass window! The elderly couple who were sitting in the booth Next to that window, jumped up and away when they saw me coming towards them!

After my car came to a rest, the manager and several employees came out to survey the damage and make sure I was okay. I told them to hurry up and call the police so I could go home. The store manager, who was the owner, turned out to be my old friend Bill! (Read “And you can bring your Dog”)  See how karma works? Anyway, Bill said no he would not call the police, made sure my car was drivable, and apologized for the slow service. He made some pictures of my car, which I assumed where for insurance purposes, and sent me on my way.

I took Doug his cold egg breakfast and told him the story. He couldn’t believe it! Neither could my insurance agent the next morning when I called him! He laughed his head off! He told me, “Marty, do you have any idea How many times I’ve wanted to do the same thing? I’m not even going to raise your insurance rates! You are my Hero!”

The rest of this story –    Our friend Bill, owned THREE  McDonald’s franchises. While I had thought he took pictures of my car that day for his insurance claim, he actually posted that picture at the drive thru window of each store that he owned with a caption that read, “If you see the woman driving this car……”  The picture hung in those locations for over a year!  Stay tuned.

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